Wednesday, July 27, 2005

 

Press Release

My friends and I send out press releases to each other as a funform of communication. Sometimes, the choice of words, descriptions of each other, and commentary makes me laugh hysterically. I laugh, whether I wrote it or not. I wrote this one for our upcoming trip to NY. Mary Christams called me last night....I had to send him a final copy for approval....and he said "SHEEER GEEEENIUS! I was pleased he was pleased. Of course ther are lots of tings in here that many dont or wont get, but that's ok. This is for me.

************FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE*******************

Hosterly Duo to Hit the Big Apple – Llama Lady in Tow

The Texas-Sized hot-air swirling Hosterly Duo will be visiting the big apple in late July early August. They are scheduled to arrive separately as they are hoping to split up the papparrazzi in an effort to have a more pleasurable experience. A source close to Cisco did reveal that this has been a long-time standing strategy of his – Divide and Conquer- although he has not tried this before with the media it has always had very gratifying results when applied to couples with whom Cisco wanted to get acquainted. Cisco will be arriving first and will immediately be whisked away by private, unmarked car to Abenaki Acres, a new venture owned by his Spiritual Guru and twin-separated-at-birth Llama Lady. Cisco has been looking forward to this getaway for sometime. He just knew that the Llama Lady would be able to provide the security and peace he has been looking for at her oasis-like farm. He has trusted her to make amany arrangements for his stay – mainly the truly devious way of bypassing the media to ensure a hassle free arrival at the dude ranch ( that is what Cisco hopes to make of it after he has arriven).

Randy will be joining his traveling companion after a weekend of revelrous debauchery in New Orleans, or the Big Easy as it is known. Maxeen let it slip, as she is prone to do, that both Randy and New Orleans have that in common – being referred to as “the BIG EASY”. It did relieve the officials of NOLA that both Randy and Cisco would not be be there at the same time. Too much easiness and that would make for a Mardi-gras like event that had not been appropriately planned for. Cisco has been spending much time there for work – we verified this with numerous "clients" - and has not had much time for fun. That is why the duo has planned this trip. Although we are sad to announce that Randy will have to be working while, as usual, Cisco runs the streets and wreaks havoc on the unsuspecting residents of the Gotham City. But not to worry, Mary is still very Merry. Surprisingly enough, since the Llama Lady will be in tow with the duo in the Big Apple, Cisco will be refraining from attending any laid-bare affairs there. He has simply started declining invitations and just for the record, he still receives ALL the invitations to these gatherings since he is usually the life of the party. Do not be discouraged, he will start accepting invitations soon, It’s just a matter of time. There is much planned after the restful sty at Abenaki Acres. The Llama Lady and Sweet Willy do have many activities planned for Cisco such as delivering a cria, worming some of the animals and who knows what else. A farm hand of theirs, that shall remain nameless, has informed us that this is the couple’s way of entertaining city slickers – In an Oliver & Lisa Douglas’ farm: Green Acres in Hooterville sort-of-way. I have a sneaking suspicion that both Cisco and the Llama Lady would be fighting as to who gets to be Eva Gabor. Lol Randy is truly upset about having to miss this. Mostly ‘cause his money is on the Llama Lady.

The trio will be sighted at several establishments that came highly recommended by the Affluent Bohemian. There are plans for Pastis, Bouley, and Raoul’s. “We love every place The Affluent Bohemian has ever taken us….in every city we have been in, her reccommendatiosn have never let us down.” cooed Mary Christmas. Randy and Cisco may even venture out during the weekday to Daniel’s to see and be seen. Bayou City-based fans anxiously pine for the return of the fabulous duo. Rumor has it that an invitation-only poolside affair, to be held at a private estate in the shadows of Meyerland, with an elite few to welcome them home. Their fans are always at-the-ready to hear of their out-of-state shenanigans. Especially, since they know that with the likes of both of them, it is anyone’s guess as to who will be hornswagled, flim-flammed, and bamboozled. This is how they keep their fans on the edges of their seats, hanging on every word as the duo recounts every single detail of their trip. “Believe me” said Maxeen, “those two leave nothing” looking over her bifocals and continues, “absolutely nothing out. If you know what I mean.” With that being said, she would not comment any further.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

 

Brown Penny

Went to see Must Love Dogs last night. The Southern Belle had free tix to a sneak preview. It was a cute movie......a chick-flick. It did yank on my love string though. Made me wonder if I would ever find "the right one" A general theme of the movie was "He is out there somewhere. The guy that's just right for you." I want to believe that so much today. I have been working rather hard on many aspects of my life, making changes mostly for me. I think I am ready to share my life with a really special guy that would want me in spite of my flaws and quirks! A guy that is into me as much a I am into him. A guy that has a life and friends and can share that with me as much as I can share my life and my friends with him. A nice guy, a sexy guy, a compassionate guy, a guy that will make my heart skip a beat, make me gasp and lose my breath. Where is my Haley's Comet? A guy that can change my universe. I'll stop now. This is now sounding like a personal ad. lol Who knows.

What I gleaned from the movie is that it will surely happen for me one day. Hope, there is always hope.

One of the characters in the movie recited the following poem by William Butler Yeats. I was moved by it.

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Where is my change? Excuse me, Can I borrow a Penny......



Monday, July 25, 2005

 

Keep Coming Back

I was supposed to leave for NOLA by noon yesterday. And of course, I did not end up leaving until 5:30 which put me in NOLA at 11:30 pm. - long drive. I got a call from a guy I used to sponsor. He has been on a relapse for a while now. He had been able to control his drinking for a bit. Tried to stay away from drugs. Eventually, started with the drugs again. Crysral Meth can ravage one's life so quickly. As often happens, he was borught to his knees again - he has hit rock-bottom, again. He called and asked if I would go to a meeting with him. He wants to get sober. This really did not fit into my plans. I was on a tight schedule and was already late. I was moved by a deeper responsibility to help. "Whenever anyone, anywhere reaches out I want the hand of AA to be there. And for that I am responsible." That was all I could hear in my head. I agreed to go with him. We went to a 4pm meeting. I am smiling as I type because I was not at that meeting for me, I was there to support him. The meeting seemed to be tailor-made for me. The lady speaking talked about New Orlreans a lot. And Lambda Center in New Orleans. By the time the meeting was over, I was I was refreshed, and became willing to come to NOLA and get my work done. My problems today are high-class problems like which time flight I am gonna take back home so I have more time to pack for my trip to NY or which pair of jeans I am packing or what car I am gonna rent. It seems so silly compared to someone that "just wants to stop drinking and drugging" That is the hardest thing in the world. A mountain MUCH TOO big to climb. I know that so well. All I did was put one foot in front of the other, and I kept coming back. I hope this guy keeps coming back too.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

 

Long Day

I woke up yesterday at 6 am and started packing to come back home. I had to get Coco's packing done too as she joined me on this trip. I was at my first appointment at 8:45 early as my appointment time was 9am. I usually run on doctor time.....You know, 45 minutes late - and in my defense, I deal with doctors so I run on their schedule. I had a rather full day of appointments.

There was a pleasant surprise at the first appointment. First, let me say that in the six years I have worked for my company, there have only been two incidents where I was blown away by the person I was meeting. Yesterday would be #3. The guy I was meeting was absolutely gorgeous. There was this Je ne sai quoi quality about him. I walked into his office and had to struggle to find the word to introduce myself. He shook my hand and I noticed he had large, manly hands, (mine seemed so small in comparison) and a tight grip....But not to worry, I have a tight grip too- when I want. He was tall, very athletic, muscular, obviously works out. He had light brown hair, almost blondish towards the ends, hazel eyes, and sporting a flawless tan. dazzling smile. He was wearing a bright blue, royal blue shirt, dark slacks and black sports coat... No tie.. Obviously casual Friday. We talked, cracked a few jokes about the particular line of work he was in. Talked a bit about his competitors, I just happened to know many of them - I think he was impressed by that. At one point when he was talking, I drifted into a daydream. I thought about throwing myself on his desk. I thought about saying something really cheesy at the close of our meeting. "If there is anything I can do, ANY-THING-AT-ALL, PLEEEAAASSSEE do not hesitate to call me." you know, like in the movies. Well I did not. I am too much of a professional. I have been asked out by several doctors and hospital administrators in the past six years and have always been able to diplomatically say no. (of course I did not find any of them attractive either.) I am too afraid of what would happen. Anyway, this guys was obviously straight. I did enjoy the eye candy and am happy that I will be meeting with him again next week. He was HOTT (yes that hot, two T's HOTT). I was thinking about him on my drive home. And it occurred to me that he just exudes masculinity. He wasn't butch but rather very masculine. He was laid back, casual, easy to talk to, with the perfect mix of masculinity and brawn. YUMMM!

So, I went about my business the rest of the day and had all my appointments. I have been under a little pressure (self-imposed) due to my upcoming trip. So I have to return to NOLA tomorrow. I have a jam packed Monday and Tuesday an am trying to line up and packed Wednesday morning. I return to Houston Wednesday and leave for vacay on Thursday. I am no where near being done with either project and my deadlines are 7/28 and 8/4 Both will not be met. They would if I wasn't leaving, but oh well, such is life.

I was so tired last night when I got home. I tried to read a few blogs but was too exhausted. I think I was in bed by and out cold by 10:30. The guy I was dating called when I was on the road. He is out of town now. He asked how the weather was on the road. My response:"Well, it's dark right now, but that's because it is night time." What?! That has nothing to do with the weather. He laughed. And told me to be careful and have a safe trip. lol I was so tired I was making sense. I am glad to be home. It was a long day.

I am looking forward very much to my trip to New Jersey and New York. I Leave Thursday. Going to visit the Serene Silver Fox. I will be spending a bit of time HERE. I cant wait. It's nice to have things to look forward to.




Friday, July 22, 2005

 

Travelling

I am SO tired. I hate travelling....for work that is. I am just glad that I was able to stay with my friend, The Southern Belle this time. I was able to bring Coco with me. Our drive on Monday was uneventful. I took photos of Coco in the car with me. There were several places along I-10 where we came to complete standstills. I do not understand where traffic goes. It has been so good to spend time with The Southern Belle and go to meetings here. I have been so focused on work. I have not worked out at all. I miss the physical exercise. The nearest YMCA is in Kenner, not so near. I am gonna have to do some GYM research for New Orleans and see what day passes are like. I did, however, go to an unaffiliated Bikram Studio. I greatly dislike practicing where I am not able to teach. That puts my certification at risk. The studio was ok. They did some things very different. It was actually a tiny space. BUT they made up for it with the heat. I LOVE THE HEAT! I went on Wednesday and I am still sore today. YAY! I like that! This practice allowed me to shed lots of the work related stress.

Being in the Big Easy has been a challenge....everyday. I forget how difficult people can be. I have been working on two big facilities and a 3rd very small one that I just landed. Administration at both facilities was less than helpful. How did you get so far along the corporate ladder with so little knowledge? Yikes.... I hate it when I become too judgemental. I feel like I finally started making progress yeterday after being here since Monday. I have the Assistant with me and I know she is frustrated cause in our work somtimes there are periods of just waiting..... I am trying to make those as short as possible by being a little more pushy than normal and getting in with people that know what they are doing. I have been a little stressed. I was hoping we would be further along than we are. I leave for New York next week to visit the Serene Silver Fox. I havent seen here in over a year and a half. I miss her terribly. I was planning on having most of the sales done and leaving the Assistant to schlepp around some for me and then we would finish when I return. We will see how things go.

I have a rather full morning today and then I am off back to Houston..... back home. I cant wait to get home. There's no place like home.

Monday, July 18, 2005

 

Honesty

When I started blogging I told a friend that this was going to be like my journal. Blogging is for me not for someone else. I got going on my last post and cant believe I wrote certain things. I am a little embarrassed and thought about editing it. Then I thought: "I was completely honest in my writing" The truth will set you free. I am not going to edit it. I was writing for me and this is what needed to come out so I could get perspective about the situation. I am still a bit embarrassed. But, hey, it is those things in life when we are completely honest and telling the truth that sometimes are difficult and maybe a bit embarrassing?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

 

Coffee and Blogs and Blogging

I look forward to my weekends, and as of late, even more so. On Saturday or Sunday I get to make coffee, and log on, looking into the lives of so many people. I get to smile as I read and see pictures. I get to laugh sometimes so hard..... Then, Some of the blogs will make me misty-eyed and even tear up. This is like the BEST REALITY SHOW EVER. I do read blogs during the week too. It is just that on the weekends, I have plenty of time, not feeling rushed.

I have a lot I want to write today. I'll start off fun and simple. I went to dinner the other night and "came out" to a friend....I told her about my blog. hehehe When she got home, she logged on and read and was inspired to start her own. Please visit Web Girl and read her thoughts. I am certain there will be some laughter and tears in her postings.

At dinner that same night, My Goddess Mother informed me of her book that is being published. This is very exciting. I am so proud of her. Web Girl designed Goddess Mother's website. And the following:



On Friday I found out that I would be traveling YET AGAIN to New Orleans. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the work. And I love my clients there. I am just not in the mood to travel for work. It really turns my life upside down. It is difficult to have a life in Houston when I am six hours away in another state! I was slow with work, just finishing up a project. So the week was rather slow work wise. And then, when I got the news about New Olreans it went CRAZY! I went from no work lined up to three projects there..... And of course, very tight deadlines.... I wish my company would get more organized and give me more realistic deadlines.... Of course, since I meet their unrealistic deadlines, I am setting myself up to continue to meet their high expectations. lol I am looking forward to spending time with my friend, The Southern Belle, in New Olreans that I love very much. He and I always have so much fun.

I am gonna have an assistant while in NOLA - the new girl that is not ready to go on her own. My thoughts on that were that she should be thrown out on her own and it be a sink or swim situation. We are in SALES and need to be self motivated - not have our little hands held the entire time and have everything given in baby steps. So I had a long talk with my boss about this and set some guidelines for the new girl..... Hope it all works out. I was worried about so much work and such tight deadlines because I am going to New York on the 28th to visit the Serene Silver Fox. The one big perk about having an assistant is that I get to go on vacation and still make money and just run things via phone calls. Ain't life grand!?

Friday night I went out with the gang. We had dinner at Osaka Japanese Restaurant. I like sushi if someone else orders. I just don't know enough to order myself. I also ordered some cooked beef dishes. It was all very good. Then, Maxeen, MIA, Mary Christmas, and I went off to Meteor for some S&M (Stand and Model). It was nice, ran into lots of people I had not seen in a while, watched some videos, and grooved to the music. Then Mary Christmas and I went off to South Beach for a night of dancing....lol (we were home by 1am) I had so much fun dancing. I had lots of energy to burn off, maybe even some frustration... I fell in love or LUST rather several times while I was on the dance floor. Saw lots of guys from online... And they did not look like what they portray......Why does that happen? Anyways, I had my fun and came home.

So here is what I really want to write about: dating and sex. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago...Literally 2 weeks. We have been out several times. He is nice enough and cute enough. My definition of dating is: Spending time with someone long enough to determine whether or not I want to spend any more time with him. I have been doing just that. DATING.... And I wanted to do this different and not start off by having sex. Well, I have figured out that as far as this guy is concerned, IT JUST ISN'T THERE for me. I have not been able to have this tough conversation with him. He is totally into me. (this is what I have been asking for, a guy that is into me, likes me, wants to hangout with me etc) Be careful what you wish for. I just think that he deserves a guy that is going to be equally into him. You know? So last night we went to a common friend's birthday dinner (my friend is his neighbor we found out) and I think that now some of our friends consider us a "couple" IT has only been 2 weeks! I am not part lesbian! PLEASE DON'T put me in a box.... a place of having to choose cause I always go for the door in these situations. UGH! So we went back to his place and... Well, I find him very attractive but I am not romantically interested. We were talking and he wanted me to spend the night.... Not my thang! I told him no. Then we were talking about sex. I said that having sex would complicate things. That we were not communicating enough and that someone always wants more after sex, (As in spend the night) He persisted and we had sex. It was nice but neither one of us got off. Then he started with the "just stay and spend the night" UGH! Things are now complicated. What the fuck! Did you not listen when we were talking before? I felt like a jerk. I got up got dressed kissed him good night and said I had to go. I am definitely gonna have to start sticking to my guns and thinking with the right head! I know better than to think it would be different. I am gonna have a long talk with him tonight.

I want to find some guy that blows me away! A good looking, funny, smart, fit, a dirty whore in the bedroom and Betty Crocker in the kitchen kind of guy! A guy that would make me want to spend the night. A guy that has good conversation skills and makes me laugh. An equal, a balanced guy and of course spiritual. A guy that is just for me. Until then, I am gonna enjoy life and keep kissing the frogs... I am certain one of them will be my prince charming.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

 

Ms Coco Patches

It has occurred to me that I have not posted about my most wonderful treausre.....the love of my life, the one who always gets her way.....My darling angel, Coco. She is part Lhasa Apso part Beagle. I play with her a lot...just around the house we have HOURS of entertainment. She is so precious. I've had her since she was six weeks old. (Sometimes she gets little cranky...but then agian so does her daddy) She is a great WTCH DOG! She will love you to death..... or really go crazy barking if she does not like you....but she likes most folks. She snuggles great at night...she sleeps with me. And she is very talented, she can spell, T-R-E-A-T. and O-U-T and C-O-C-O.... hahahaha and she howls....but only in a duet.....


This is her asserting he dominance.....


I am her bitch....

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

 

Teaching the World

I few weeks ago I was watching TV and saw a commercial for Coca Cola Zero - A new Coke beverage. It was a remake of an old Coca-Cola Commercial. The 1971 version was called Hilltop. I remember growing up everyone knew this tune. It was a truly remarkable marketing campaign. One that appealed to a world-wide audience. Hilltop was a remake of this song:

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms and keep it company
I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills "Ah, peace throughout the land"
(That's the song I hear)
I'd like to teach the world to sing (that the world sings today)
In perfect harmony
(Lead singer and background singers singing simultaneously)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
Id like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves

The new version is called Chilltop. It has a bit of a hip-hop and rap to the lyrics. It features kids hanging out on a roof top in Philly. It is not as crowded or as diverse as the original.... I think this one is targeting more in the US not world-wide. I think it is a good commercial. I've read that Coca-Cola and the Ad Agency that developed this have gotten some flack regarding this - watch this report. If you go to watch this, click on the video and then be patient with 15 second announcement.

It is not fair to compare the original to the remake. It's been 34 years for God's sake.... The whole world has changed so much since then. I happen to like both versions.. I find myself humming the original or bee-bopping along to the remake - a lot.

Here are the lyrics to the original for the Coca-Cola commercial:
I'd like to buy the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves
(CHORUS)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing
(REPEAT CHORUS)
(CHORUS 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing
(REPEAT CHORUS 2)
(CHORUS)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
Sing with me (background)
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing
(REPEAT CHORUS)
(CHORUS 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

I could not find the lyrics to the new one.... a couple lines are "I'd like to teach the world to Chill" And "I'd like to buy the world a Coke and chill with it a while"

Any way I look at it, whether we are teaching the world to Sing or teaching the world to Chill..... I think either would bring harmony to the world we live in. It would make the inhabitants slow down, you know relax. And well, all of the world a better place.

Monday, July 11, 2005

 

Pity-Pot

I have been on my pity-pot for a little while now. When I think about it, I have nothing to gripe about. Lately, I have felt very apart from, I've felt left out. I can paint a very sad and pitiful picture. The reality is that there are plenty of people who like me and like to hang out with me. The reality also is I TRULY ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY. I do not mind being alone and doing things by myself - I would almost say i prefer it. lol But not all the time. I do enjoy hanging out with friends. I enjoy cooking for my friends a lot. I like when they come over and hang out. I like going to their houses and hanging out too.

Today was an especially difficult day with my pitiful self. I have been running around for work, seemingly putting out fires t aht I started.... feels like busy work. You know, like a dog on linoleum - lots of activity but getting no where FAST! So I finally get to the YMCA to do some cardio. That felt good. 45 mins. I;m gonna be a skinny bitch one day - you watch and see. I came home and was doing my "poor pitiful me" thinking routine. And I noticed an envelope on the floor - upside down. I knew is was from Jack. Jack is an older gentlemen from Dallas that I emailed a few months ago. He was helping locate a certain speaker. Then I met Jack in Dallas over Memorial Day Weekend. We chatted for what was maybe 10 or 15 minutes. I received an email from him about 2 weeks ago asking for my mailing address and I sent it to him. He said he was having some old speaker tapes converted to CD's and wanted to send me a copy. He mentioned a particular speaker who I have heard on tape and lost my copy. GREAT STORY! So I got excited. I got my copy of the CD and Jack included a few more CD's and a tape. He also wrote me the kindest note. That's when it hit me - I am very much a part of something sooooo big. People all over like me. I have so many friends in so many parts of the country. And all the little things in life are such wonderful gifts. I really needed this package today. I received it at just the right moment. I have listened to the CD's and already made copies for people. I have to spread the joy and the message.

So today I am grateful that at the right moment, at the right place, and just the right circumstances everything, absolutely everything unfolds as it is supposed to. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world my mistake.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

 

Fantastic

I have been looking forward to Friday night all week. Mostly because Fantastic 4 would be playing. I went and saw it last night. It was good.


The main reason i went to see it:


I love this guy! Chris Evans. What's not to love.



Looking sexy and sleek in the costume.


The movie contained, what I would call, LOTS of gratuitous abs and chest scenes...Ok, well maybe not "LOTS" But just enough.... Chris was also in Cellular the Movie. These pictures are from that Cellular. I could only find one of him shirtless from Fantastic 4. All I can say is IF you can imagine, he is even hotter than this. I read an article on his workout for this movie. It said, they took him from being in good shape to being in amazing shape in four weeks. I am glad he did all the hard work :)~
In Good shape:



Amazing.....YUMM!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

 

Take A Load Off

I was driving down the street last week when I saw this

I was thinking it was a bit odd. Why is this here? Well, obviously it is a chair at the bus stop. The #3 Metro. I have no idea where the #3 goes. I will venture to say it is coming from downtown. I remember when I was growing up I rode the bus everywhere.....Before I got my driver's license and a car. Even after I got a car, I would ride the bus into downtown cause driving downtown scared me. lol Now, I drive downtown all the time...In fact that is where the YMCA where I work out is located. It was somewhat fun to ride the bus, but I always hated waiting....I still hate waiting to this day. This particular stop is at the corner of W Gray and Taft, and intersection not far from where I live. As you can see, there is nothing at this bus stop.... no shade, no seat, no nothing. So this chair got my attention.

It has been very hot in Houston lately. I practice Bikram Yoga or commonly known as Hot Yoga. I have not been practicing as much. The heat has been getting to me....Outside.... Not the heat in the yoga room. However, when I had a regular practice, the heat outside did not bother me. So when I drove by and saw this chair again today, I thought, "I Guess if I had to ride the #3 and wait in this heat, it would be a bit more bearable if I was sitting instead of standing. Take a load off, have a seat." I also thought, "Whoever painted this and put this chair here, must be a kind soul. To have some compassion for those that have to wait in the heat."

I have driven by several times and decided that I really liked it. Someone has taken an old chair and painted it.....Marking it for it's obvious use by writing "BUS" on it. I think it is a great piece of active, very urban art. (some might say it is an eye sore, some might say it is more junk with graffiti drawn on it) but I would rather see the more positive aspect. Something about this chair just makes me feel good. To whoever is responsible for this: Thank you your for the trip down memory lane of when I used to ride the bus. Thank you for your anonymous kindness to others. Thank you for your wonderful talent and making use of something that would otherwise be considered junk. Thank you.


I will report that since sighting this chair last Friday, I have not seen anyone sitting in it. But it is there if they would like.

Monday, July 04, 2005

 

Home of the Brave

We moved to the Unites States of America when I was two years old. In some way I am certain we (my family) were looking for a better way of life. I have lived in the US for 31 years. I cannot imagine a different way of life. In the US everyone who works hard can realize their dreams. Everyone has rights. Everyone has the same possibilities. That's what I am after, the American Dream.

What makes the American Dream? The Declaration of Independence reads: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Please read this again and listen to the amazing and such perfect wording. Truths, self-evident, created equal, endowed, their Creator, unalienable rights, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. And that is what we all really want, HAPPINESS.

The Star Spangled Banner claims the US to be "The land of the free and home of the brave" It took many BRAVE MEN to realize the freedom they dreamed of. Can you imagine the age.... Where a group of people said "NO MORE" and demanded their rights, and enforced and protected their independence? Reminds me of the posting on Pride just last week. It has to Start somewhere. Women didn't even get their rights till the 1920's! It has to start somewhere.

On this 4th of July 2005, I have taken a moment to ask myself: What is your American Dream? How would I honor those that fought bravely, tirelessly, died, to make a way of life for those that came after? I honor them, I have taken a moment of silence for them. I think that sometimes we forget....Or at least I forget, how it was that this all came about....The forming of the United States of America. Today I remember them honor them, thank them for their gift. I was even moved to read the following:

"I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

When I was in Elementary school and even in Middle school, we used to say the Pledge of Allegiance everyday. That's how we started the day. I would stand by my desk, place my hand over my heart, and face in the direction of the flag. I had an inkling of what this meant....What was being taught in school, in history class. As I have grown older, I have learned even more, there is new meaning. The pledge of Allegiance is no longer recited in school. (I personally think this is sad) That last phrase always stood out to me. "With Liberty and justice for all."

For ALL, Black, White, Mexican, Asian, Man or Woman, Straight or Gay. THESE TRUTHS ARE SELF-EVIDENT, WE HAVE THESE UNALIENABLE RIGHTS." And just like our predecessors, in the Revolution, or Civil Rights Revolution, Women's Revolution, We have these rights. We may have to fight for them, stand up for them, even suffer a little for them. These rights will come. I wonder, I venture to speculate that their may be a GLBT Revolution. When I think about causes I would fight for, this is one. NOT because I want to get married, but because I believe that if you want to, you should have the right to...... I know that I will see this in my lifetime Because I beleive that everyone was "endowed by their Creator" to be treated equally, justly, and that "Creator" wants us all to find happiness.

What is my American Dream? A Land that is truly the home of the brave and the land of the free. A land where we can be treated as equals. A land where our youth would be proud to call home. A land where EVERYONE, regardless of Faith, Creed, Race, Gender or Sexual Orientation are availed Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. A land with liberty and justice for all.

I don't want to get sappy but I also read the following and, well I want to close with this:

America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!

After all, it is the Birthday of this Great Nation - from sea to shining sea.




Saturday, July 02, 2005

 

I Believe

I believe in romance. I believe in holding hands and hugs, tight I-do-not-want-to-let-go HUGS. I believe in looking into eyes and seeing the soul. I believe in that nervousness of first dates. I believe in closing eyes to kiss.... That very first kiss with so many butterflies fluttering around my belly. I believe in small peck-like kisses and tender kisses and kisses filled with so much passion there is a flame that bursts from the parting lips. Kisses that tell, reveal the fondness within. I believe in holding and being held, not quite cuddling and not quite a hug - yet. And the cuddling and the hugging follow closely. And then, that certain position in hugging where my face, my nose, my lips are right there at the nape of your neck...Smelling, pecking, tenderly kissing, and being so close. I believe in flirting. I believe in talking and smiling... And that silent language being the best flirting. I believe in talking and communicating using smiles, and eyebrows, and lips and eyes. I believe in winking and smirking. Flirting even more. I believe in desire, In trust, I even believe in being vulnerable. I believe I am desirable. I believe. Tonight I believe. I believe in butterfly-filled bellies, heart-filled eyes, warm thoughts and fiery passion. I believe in romance. Yes tonight I believe. I believe in love. All forms, all aspects, boundless and eternal. From humble beginings to long-time and long-lived love. I believe. My God, I am certain, I believe.

Friday, July 01, 2005

 

The Only Constant is Change

When I first got sober I had a sponsor tell me that "The only constant in life is change." I had no idea what that meant. I tried to wrap my itty brain around. Today I have clear understanding of the meaning.

I have had a terrible time with work. I am not one to usually get so caught up like this. I have been under pressure with deadlines, projects gone bad, sales gone really bad, and it seems like everything I touch just turns to crap. So the other day it came to me. Shaped by Everything Defined by Nothing. I was letting myself be defined by worked. Work is not who I am. My experiences shape me, They do not tell you who I am. I decided I was gonna make changes. There was action to be taken if I am to change.

I was gonna start by finishing my swim lessons. I was the only one who went every day for the entire 2 weeks, total of 8 sessions. I feel like I really made progress. I also decided that I am going to stick with it and practice 3 times per week. When August rolls around, I am going to sign up to take more lessons to go a little further. I feel good when things are accomplished.

I Went to yoga yesterday. I forgot how much I love practicing. Steadiness and ease in the pose. The discipline, the concentration, the stillness in the pose, the meditation. I love the way I breathe and hold a pose, and feel the sweat roll down my face, down, my arms, my back, and there I am - one with a pose 5 thousand years old..... The pose does not change, I CHANGE!

And I put myself out there and responded to a guy that answered my personal ad. We went to coffee. He is very nice. My type in many ways, not so much in others, and it is ok. There was a bit of a spark so we will see what happens. We are supposed try to see each other this weekend. If not, we do have plans next week.

I have been in touch with people that are in the solution. People that are not wanting to change me BUT instead allow me to change in my own time. The change will happen - it is inevitable. I had a long talk with my sponsor, the Serene Silver Fox, in NJ. And I feel so good about it. It is time. I got a new sponsor that live here in Houston. I think she and I will get along great. I still have not come up with a name for her, but it will come with time. I have much to learn.

Last change for me was making a decision to throw in the towel on a particular project i have been working on. My boss was not that happy. She did comment how it was very unlike me to "give up." And I answered by saying, "That should tell you something. I do not normally give up. I am one of your best sales reps, and I am telling you that at 2 1/2 months of working on this, it is time to let go." Letting go has felt good. I am certain and confident that i have done everything i possibly can. I am gonna cut my losses and move on to the next one. What change - to see clearly and know that I am not going to be defined by one bad project in my work life. That I am not just working. And having my thoughts, my actions, my life run by work. There is so much more to life.

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