Wednesday, February 28, 2007

 

Just Waiting

I am just sitting here. Waiting for my next assignment to call and let me know they are ready for me. I went on an appointment yesterday thinking I was going to get started. Well, they had other plans.

What do I do with my time? I am going to teach yoga this afternoon. Thank goodness for my part time job. It helps keep me in check.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

 

Staying Caught Up

I am trying my darndest to stay current on my 40 entries. Geez. I didn’t think it would be this hard. BUT hell, I haven’t been blogging a lot lately. Mostly, I think my life is pretty boring. Who want to hear about the boring meeting I had with hospital administrators today? -----silence falls across the room--- that is what I thought. Tee-hee-hee

So I guess this counts as an entry.

Monday, February 26, 2007

 

Home

It feels good to be home. I missed Coco so much! We played and played last night. Hahahaha I love playing with here. She is a pretty spry puppy for being 8 years old!

There was a lot to do. I forget how traveling disrupts home life. I had to regular old chores, laundry, dishwasher, vacuums the rugs, etc. people that know me might not think I do things like that. But I do. I went thru the mail. It was necessary to catch up with certain people too. I gotta stay connected.

I have a busy day today. Drive to Lake Jackson, pick up some stuff for work. Meet with my sponsor, listen to a 5th step, grab some tea, meet with another sponsoree, and then my usual standing Monday night dinner with a dear friend and the meeting. I won’t be home till late. I’m worn out already and I am not even dressed to get the day started. I should run now. I don’t want to be late.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

 

Sunday Drive

I woke up today and was in good spirits.

I had so much fun with my friends at a fundraiser last night. After the fundraiser, I called my friend and made plans to meet out at a local dance club. I thought we were gonna go dancing. Instead, we watched a drag show. I LOVE A GOOD TEXAS DRAG SHOW! Bars aren’t exactly conducive to conversation, so we watched, nodded to each other yelled a few comments and basically had a good time. After ward, we decided to leave. I went back to the hotel, he went home. Saying we would see each other today.

My friend texted me directions to the park to meet him. I went to watch him play soft ball, or rather watch him at soft ball practice. I was late due to watching TV. That is a really bad habit! I have been working on that since new year’s. I was doing a pretty good job till today. Dang!

It was a great sunny day. Crisp, cool weather. I sat on the bleachers and watched. He is a fast runner. lol

I started to feel like I was invading his space. (believe me, I know all this is in my head and it is all about my issues.) then I started thinking that all his friends were probably wondering who I was. Then …. Then…. Then… you know how that committee in my head starts talking. I tried to get his attention but he was way out in the field. I thought about yelling out and waving bye. I was thinking so much that I figured I should get on the road to come back to Houston. I was feeling so uncomfortable, I finally just left. Again, I know these are my own issues – no one else’s.

One the way home I started feeling guilty. I should have waited to say good bye properly. I should have just sat thru my uncomfortable feelings. I should have, I should have etc.

The drive was nice. I enjoyed some speaker cds and some great music too. It was great weather for a nice Sunday drive home.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

 

The day after

So we had a good time last night. He didn’t spend the night like I wanted. And that is strange for me. Normally, I get what I want and kick ‘em out. No really. I’m serious. I felt weird asking him if he wanted to stay. He said he could not spend the night, and he did this at the beginning of the evening. So here we are at the end of the evening. We made out a little bit, and lay in bed together. It felt great. I enjoyed it for what it was and when he left I watched TVand went to bed. We are supposed to spend the day together today. He has other plans this evening with a local non profit. I am gonna hang with some of my friends that live here during that time. Then we are supposed to get together after…. His event is over at 11pm. That is kinda late to start a date – but it’s not like I have anything else going on….

Friday, February 23, 2007

 

A Fun Weekend Away

I am on my way to visit my friend. I am so nervous. I have never done this before – gone to visit someone I would love to date. And we ;live in different cities. Many of my friends have done this kinda stuff. They are always meeting guys and going to visit. I have one friend in particular which ALWAYS has HOT, HOT, guys come visit him from really far away places, Like Chicago, Seattle, New York, DC… that is crazy to me.

So here I am putting myself out there. Luckily I have other friends where I am going. And I have made up my mind that I am just gonna have fun. It is a fun weekend away.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

 

I wasn’t being ignored

I forget sometimes that I do not know everything. Hahahahaha

For example. I am supposed to go visit this guy I met about a month ago. He lives in another Texas city. I am supposed to stay with him. And I got scared. After talking to a few good friend and one very savvy sponsor – I decided to stay in a hotel. This is the first time we were gonna be spending time together – kinda like a first date and I did not want to last 3 days. I had also called him on Sunday. On Monday I sent him an email saying how I saw the weekend going and asked what his thoughts were. I had not heard back from him. I just knew I had scared him off. I am so aware that I have commitment issues as it is. I kept telling myself that I had run him off thru that.

Last night when I went to walk the puppy princess, I grabbed my phone so I could his call him. As I grabbed my cell, it rang. It was him. My heart raced. “hello” I said. “what’s up?” he responded. We chatted a bit. I brought up the subject of the weekend visit. He said it was good. And then asked if I had received his response to my email. I said I had not.

Then he just flat out says, “So you have been thinking all this time that I was ignoring you huh? Is that Why you didn’t call me yesterday?” I was so busted. He laughed a little a said “Now it makes sense.” Dude, I’m thinking to myself, this kind of crazy thought process is why I don’t like dating. It drives me insane. I have so many weird thoughts. “I was honest and said, “yeah. I thought maybe you had changed your mind about the weekend. I really did, I thought you were ignoring me.”

He just said, “Naw. I wasn’t ignoring you.”

Whew. No I am looking forward to the weekend again.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

 

Out of the Ashes

Ash Wednesday. Hmm. Been a while since I’ve thought about Catholic holy days. I had one very important appointment this morning. I called Goddess Mother to see if she wanted to join me at the Chapel of St Basil for mass. She agreed and I was little excited. I have not seen her in quite some time. AND I had not been to mass in even longer. I miss going to mass. The ritual of it all. I am touched by some of the things we say at different times. Like “It is right to give Him thanks and praise.” Sometimes I forget to say thank you to my Higher Power for all I have been given. And I forget that everything I am and have is due to Him.

I thought long and hard about what to give up for Lent. Such an auspicious time of the year. Well, I will not go into all that as it is personal and the whole point is that it is between me and HP. What I will say is that it occurred to me that I am usually more balanced when I write. I have not been blogging as you can all tell. So the idea came to me that maybe I should blog – 40 entries in 40 days. So here we go.

Let No One Steal Your Peace emerges out of the ashes or Ash Wednesday.

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