Saturday, March 25, 2006

 

Gratuitous Boys

We went to the Bayou City Art Festival today. We had so much fun cutting up. I was out taking pictures. I was playing around with my new toy. There are lots of hot guys in Houston. I forget that sometime. Here are a few photos of some random guys.




Friday, March 24, 2006

 

Look What I Got

I went out and bought myself one of these today. I have been doing some research over the past few months. And I finally decided that this one the best fit for me. I have been like a kid with a new toy on Christmas morning. I love my new camera.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

 

Fixing Broken Things

I love people who are handy. You know, people who can fix the toaster, take a refridgerator and hook up the water so it comes out the door, lay down new hardwoods, or re-wire the entire house to bring it up to code! I am not handy in the same way as I am not technically inclined. We all have our strong suits.

The point of this post is to express gratitude and share my joy. When I was in the attic doing some Spring Cleaning, I found an old lamp that was broken. I have not been able to bring myself to throw it away. A good friend of mine gav it to me before he moved to DC. Anyway, it has been floating around for over two years. It was broken by a friend a few days after I moved in the house - roughly over two years ago.

I have tried taking it to different places to get it fixed. They all said that I would need to have it welded together. For some f*cked up reason, the lamp shade frame is one metal piece. ughh! No one had been able to help me.

When I found this in the attic and brought it down, it was originally to be thrown out. Then I realized I know a welder! A friend of mine - who is hot as all get out - is a metal fabricator. (This is very funny to me. By looking at him, you would NEVER guess that he has such a butch profession) I knew he could fix it. I called him up and he said to bring it over.

He called me last night and said it was fixed. I was so happy. The really funny part is that he did not weld it. He said they use very big instruments at work and that he would have melted the shade. He used super glue. Now, why did i not think of that? hmmmm. Who cares. It is fixed! yay!

So, along with my theme this week of broken things than can be mended, here is another story. I am glad I did not throw this away too. I keep finding parallel's into other aspects of my life. What had I been thrown away when I was so broken? What if no one had believed in me? What if no one had seen the potential? I am glad that someone stuck around and fixed me or at least helped get on the road to fixing myself.





Monday, March 20, 2006

 

Spring Cleaning

It is official now. Today is the first day of Spring. I had no idea that today was the first day of Spring until mid morning when I heard it on CNN or NBC'S The Today Show. I forget.

Yesterday, in the middle of all that crying, I was finally able to get myself together enough to get on with my day. I would have been horrified if HOT L'IL BRO ( a kid in his very early twenties I see as the kid brother I never had) would have showed up on my doorstep during my episode. He came over to help me clean out and organize the attic. ugggh! He is an avid health nut/jock/athlete/runner/gymnast/cheerleader/fitness fanatic so we had to go run first. Well, ok, he ran ahead and came back to meet me while I walked at a brisk pace. He had fun.

After the walk, we went to Target to get some storage containers and then HOMO DEPOT to get some plywood. When we finally got back to my house It was work, but it was fun too. I am so glad he was around to help. Mary Christmas arrived from her Saturday night shenanigans just in time to help also. It went by quick, a couple of hours. Attic is clean....er, it is cleaner than before and certainly more organized. I threw a bunch of crap away - although nothing sentimental. I am one of those freaks that holds on to everything. Spring Cleaning and I did not even know it was Spring the very next day...Today!

So after the cleaning HOT L'IL BRO and I went to grab a bite at my favorite place - you guessed it - Barnaby's. We had a good talk. I was telling him about that meditation I received about safety. When I asked him where he felt safest I was shocked. I figured he was gonna say with his mom or his boyfriend or something like that. He said me and his sponsor. WOW! That blew me away. I've only known this kid since September, so roughly about 6 months. But I forget how we can impact each others lives in a relatively short period of time. I am not just talking about me and him.... Life in general. There are people that I consider very good friends. But still, due to the nature of the question, I was taken aback and flattered at the same time. I suddenly felt as if my life had meaning cause someone looked up to me. That totally made my day.

Here is a picture of an amarilys plant. Someone gave it to me 3 Christmases ago when I first moved into this house. It never grew. I had it inside in a small pot. And then I put it outside thinking it would be better. I finally threw it out, literally! I chunked it on the ground that Spring in order to use the pot to plant some basil. Then last Spring, while gardening, I noticed it and it had some green leaves. So I picked it up and planted it. Here is what happens when we don't throw away what seems to be broken or dead. Maybe a little love, a little nurturing and some water and sunlight help. Isn't she beautiful?

With all of this being said, I noticed the flower today, the first Day of Spring. A great and wonderful sign. I had to take pictures to share. It really is Spring in Houston. Enjoy Spring!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

 

Safety

A friend of mine in Dallas sends me this daily meditation. I just love it - and him for doing this. I received a really powerful one today on Safety. Basically, how we may not feel safe and some of this comes from our dysfunctional families. I have been going thru so much of this lately. I am definitely starting therapy again around some "mom stuff." Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. I know she did the best with what she had. And today I am able to follow that with, "But it just wasn't enough."

Last night I got phone calls from my sister, who is trying to help me fix something mom & dad did many years ago. My brother called too and basically felt it was my fault. I am owning up to my part, but DAMN! Had they not done their crap, I wouldn't be in my position now. Long story. Makes me mad and then I start to cry. I cried a little bit ago and it felt good to let it out. I cant believe I cried as much as I did. I mean, this was non-stop, cant catch my breath, slobbering crying. Then I started to laugh, cause I realized I was also snotty! Then I was overwhelmed with sadness again and started back with the snot-slinging crying.

Basically, I am realizing that I am responsible for myself. Although I have been for a very long time. Sometimes it feels like it has been since childhood. I am very aware that only I can take care of myself. No one else is going to do it. The meditation today:

One of the long-term effects of living in a dysfunctional family - as children or adults - is that we don't feel safe. Much of what we call codependency happens because we don't feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or shutting down our feelings.
We can learn to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable, as part of a nurturing, loving attitude toward ourselves. Being with a friend or doing something nice for ourselves helps us feel protected and loved. Sometimes, reaching out to another person helps us feel safe

This isn't all the text but what really stood out to me. I was thinking about where I feel safe.Very much so in my home. I've worked hard to make this place mine, not my mom's. lol I can do things my way. And I feel safe with the Serene Silver Fox and Mary Christmas. There are others with varying degrees. But these two are especially the safest. I feel very safe with The Fearless Leader in San Francisco, in her yoga room. While practicing each of the yoga postures. In each posture nothing else can exist. I feel protected. As if though nothing can hurt me.

Where or with whom do you feel the safest?

Saturday, March 18, 2006

 

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Serene Silver Fox! May you have many more healthy, happy, prosperous, and of course, PEACE filled birhdays!

from Chi-Chi Mono

Friday, March 17, 2006

 

St Patrick's Day First

Today is St Patrick's Day, a day of many traditions. Wearing green. Using Clovers. Finding the LUCKY four-leafed clover. being Irish by association...
Eating Corned beef and cabbage. This last one has brought about a first this year. You see, today is also Friday. A Friday during Lent. What that means is that, according to Catholic tradition, It is a day of abstinence - no meat on Fridays. What is one to do? How can you have your corned beef and cabbage if it is a day of abstinence? Well, here in the Galveston-Houston Archdiocese, Archbishop Denardo has declared it OK to not abstain from meat. huh? What? A very long-standing tradition is being over looked? Archbishop Denardo is new to our Archdiocese. We've been told that he is very traditional and that there would be changes going in in the way things are done - going back to a more traditional Catholicism. This blew me away when he made his statement lifting the abstinence on Friday. hmmm. He is part Irish. Maybe that had some influence. I am sure that many Irish-Catholics were thrilled. Then, I wondered what the "catch" would be. Of course there was a catch. If you did not abstain on Friday, you must observe abstinence on another day that week. Well, let's see. That would leave Saturday. I am glad that he was able to make this an option for those that wanted to join in on the St Patrick's Day festivities. But I have to wonder if he consulted the Pope before doing this. Did the Pope agree? Was this a rogue decision? I myself, not being of Irish descent, did not participate. Being Mexican and all, I went to BerryHill's and had grilled fish tacos. DAMN they were good! And for dinner there was a very rich, pasta alfredo.

And I guess that since my Rosary is green, I still partook of the Green Tradition of St Patty's Day!

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