Friday, April 28, 2006

 

San-Fran-tastic


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I was in San Francisco last weekend. I love that city. I went with Mary Christmas and Maxeen. BOY! That is the way to go to San Fran. We had so much fun. All the way there and all the way back.

I got to see The Fearless Leader but the Yoga Princess was out of town. I ran into Chad Fox at the Eagle. That was nice – very nice.

I took lots of photos. I will post some soon.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

 

Six

My life today, this day, nowadays, is so different from just six years ago. I am in awe at how everything has changed. It was six years ago today that I came to AA to stop drinking,. It was six years ago today that I was in trouble with the law – again. I woke up, or rather came to in jail – again. The memories of the previous day slowly come back to me. God, I hated black outs. I sat there cringing from each memory. Thinking to myself “HOW? WHY? Why couldn’t I stop?” More memories coming and realizing that MAYBE if I did not drnk I would not end up in jail. What was I going to do? My car had already been repossessed and I took over the note on a friend’s car. I had quit my job cause I knew I was about to get fired. I was facing getting evicted from my apartment. I had alienated o many people that cared about me. It really seemed like I was on my own.

I had no idea what I was looking for when I got here. I just knew that I wanted to stop. I wanted life to be different. I followed the suggestions I was given. I had no idea I was gonna be here this long. I often ask myself, “How did I get here?” And then I am filled with gratitude. You see, had I not stayed, life would be very different. Nothing like what it is now. I just got back from San Francisco. I get to travel a lot and have fun. I came back to that job I quit and am one of the top people in my company. I learned about yoga in sobriety. I went to the yoga training in sobriety. I have met so many wonderful people – people that I would not normally have wanted to meet much less form friendships with. After thinking about these aspects of my life, I think to myself, “What does it matter how you got here? This is a journey. I am on a path. And TODAY is the only day that matters on this path that leads me towards…well, I don’t know what it leads me towards. But I will trust the process just like I trusted it when I got here; not knowing what tomorrow would hold. I still woke up to meet that day.”

At five years, it felt like this could be a way of life. Six years feels like I can do anything, be anything, realize any dreams. I am on a path and following it. I can change paths, I can follow different routes – all leading probably to the same place. One thing for sure, I have to keep moving forward.

Today I am so grateful that I was shown how to live life differently. I have a life that most people dream of. I am not saying that this life is perfect. What I am certainly better equipped to deal with Life on Life’s Terms. When difficulties arise, I don’t run. When hard times hit, I know I have been through harder, tougher times. I know that I have a chance at making in this world - and I don’t have to escape through drinking or doing drugs.

I have been sober for six years. Wow! Yay! Thank you.
It was all done one day at a time. And the most important day is TODAY.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

 

Reminiscing & Connecting & Smiling


I got phone call earlier this evening from a friend of mine that has gone to the Bikram Yoga Teacher Training to be certified to teach Bikram Yoga. She was giving me an update on the first week and especially the goings on for the day. She also referred me to a blog from one of the students. check it out. Humunk Humunk I read it and was just pulled into his writing for three reasons:
1. It was reminiscent of my experience in teacher training
2. I felt connected to him because we share a common hobby, and experience
3. I smiled. I smiled from ear to ear.

It has been three years since I went thru teacher training. An experience that i would not trade or give up for anything in the whole wide world. After I finished the training, I knew then that I could accomplish anyuthing in life. NO matter how difficult (physically or mentally).

As I read on in Chris' blog, I found myself wanting more Bikram. I wan to call Om Yogi and tell him I will meet him at the Teacher Training. To go back to LA and practice with Bikram, Raj, & Emmy. I know that I belong to a bigger community that is there to help me. I also found myself thinking about all the great friends I made during the training. ALL OVER! NY, DC, San Franciso, Austin, Dallas, Colorado, and so on. People I have only known for three years yet we speak regularly and see each other when we can. A great bunch of friends brought together by Bikram Yoga.

I have been a slacker recently. Not really practicing or making the time. I barely teach, a wekend here or there. I felt motivated to return to my practice. When I practice, I am usually beating myself up. I know I can do better or more and then I have to remember that it comes with time. I have to be consistent in order to get the results. Right after the yoga training, MAry Christmas took some pictures of me in the postures at our friend's pool. I felt so proud of my body and my poses. Now, well, I am struggling again with body image and weight. So, I plan on reading Chris' blog and continue on this path. I am so glad I was sent to blog. It reminded me as to why I started my blog. To share with others that, no matter what, we can find a place of peace regardless of what is going on in our lives. That is the greatest gift Bikram gave me. My pearl of wisdom if you will. Of course, he says "Don't let anyone steal your peace." I just simply put it in a better grammatical state.
So as you go througout your day today,

"Let No One Steal Your Peace"


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Monday, April 10, 2006

 

Grasping For Life

I have been chatting with Little Man. He is in Korea. He sent me this picture. He is under a cherry tree that is blossoming. There is a great story behind it. All I will say about it is that he named it “Grasping for Life” Basically, I see all of us just reaching out, trying to do our best as we traverse the paths set before us in our lives. Reaching, grasping, for all of that which is beautiful like the cherry blossoms. And we see how our life, in turn, blossoms as we try to make sense of it all. I liked it so much, I asked if I could post it and he gave me permission.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

 

Long Time Friends

I spent the day with an old friend of mine. We have been friends since high school. That is a long time. We were roommates till I moved in my current house a little over two years ago. I have always been truly grateful that he opened his house up to me when we became roommates. It was a really good match. I sometimes miss living with him. I always slept so good. We kept opposite hours even though we both worked from home. I would go to bed and he would come home right after. It was comforting to know he was home – you know another person in the house.

Anyway. We haven’t talked in a over a year. An email or IM here or there, but almost no contact. I love this guy like family. I did not know what was going on in his life. I have tried to keep up with him thru different sources, but I prefer to know right from the source.

So we hung out yesterday for a good long time. I LOVED IT! We caught up on a lot in each other’s life. I tool Coco over to play with Bear and they loved playing around. Here they are.





He has been painting. He started before I moved out. He has become pretty good at it. I went to a garage sale a long time ago and bought some sad scenery painting that was framed. He took it and painted over it. He gave it to me for my birthday.


You can see more of his work at
www.catalystart.com

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