When I go to a yoga class, it serves two purposes:

1. The physical aspect provides physical therapy and rehabilitation while simultaneously maintaining my body that does not need rehab, and

2. It provides a very clear channel to a power greater than myself. It is thru this channel that I hear, without a doubt what my purpose is, what my next move is, how I can deal (lovingly) with day-to-day situations. This "voice" is clear, booming at times, it commands my full attention and does not allow for any interruptions or distractions, it will not be quieted or silenced.

Lately, on the physical aspect, I'm feeling my age, my mortality. I just want some maintenance to alleviate some symptoms. I do so want my youth back sometimes. It's a great idea to think that one day I will do standing head to knee and nail it again or touch my head to the floor in Separate Leg Stretching...the good ole days from when I was 33. Haha. But of course, back then I practiced every day and did doubles regularly.

When I go to class lately, there is so much chatter.... Sometimes from the teacher, but mostly in my head...she is talking Too much, she said that wrong, this pose is too long, such critical thinking all the way thru compounded by my own negative self talk about my practice or appearance make for a torturous class. When the teachers are carrying on about something, not yoga related, I just cant stand it. I’ve been taught that teacher is just a voice in the room, prolly why I teach from the back of the room. You don’t need to see me, you need to see yourself. This class has nothing to do with me…it has to do with each student. But when I’m the student… well its just so damn hard to turn off all the other voices.

I’ve stumbled up on a new teacher. Her enthusiasm is contagious. Her love of the yoga, quite obvious. Her desire to improve her teaching drives her. With some time teaching under her belt, that experience that can only happen in the room, will add to her already great style. This same experience can also jade us as teachers and I hope she has a way to go before that happens. There are regular teachers whose classes I enjoy and love. I know that I am the same way and sometimes it is just too much - all that talking and nonsense and chatter. I just want to take class and not be a teacher or a teacher that another teacher wants to “mark” by either over complimenting or over-correcting. I just want to do my yoga.

Today, I had her class. Her voice is sweet, yet has a power behind it. (I don’t think she realizes it yet) and she knows what she is doing. There is something there too, that makes me want to do better and try harder. Almost for an approval or acknowledgment. Not usual for me. I do what I do and that’s it. There was a point in class where we locked eyes. And I knew I had to keep going. No stopping now.

This is a voice for me. I can hear it crystal clear. She says things, that I “HEAR” it is general in some ways, but in others it is tailored for me. (this part of yoga, that is what connects me. Because I believe I am being spoken to directly. And that I must act upon it) Example, at one point she said something to the effect of “Let your work stay at work. This class is for you.” That can be applied by anyone and most certainly is aimed at everyone. But for me, it washed over me in a way that compelled me to let my work day go…to really be here just for me.

The entire class was riddled with these gems that kept my interest. It was a simple enough class. And that is the beauty of a gem, its beauty is right there – simple.

This is Hillary….with a voice…. a voice for me.

# posted by Cisco @ 10:48 PM 0 comments