Monday, November 15, 2010


The Voice

When I go to a yoga class, it serves two purposes:

1. The physical aspect provides physical therapy and rehabilitation while simultaneously maintaining my body that does not need rehab, and

2. It provides a very clear channel to a power greater than myself. It is thru this channel that I hear, without a doubt what my purpose is, what my next move is, how I can deal (lovingly) with day-to-day situations. This "voice" is clear, booming at times, it commands my full attention and does not allow for any interruptions or distractions, it will not be quieted or silenced.

Lately, on the physical aspect, I'm feeling my age, my mortality. I just want some maintenance to alleviate some symptoms. I do so want my youth back sometimes. It's a great idea to think that one day I will do standing head to knee and nail it again or touch my head to the floor in Separate Leg Stretching...the good ole days from when I was 33. Haha. But of course, back then I practiced every day and did doubles regularly.

When I go to class lately, there is so much chatter.... Sometimes from the teacher, but mostly in my head...she is talking Too much, she said that wrong, this pose is too long, such critical thinking all the way thru compounded by my own negative self talk about my practice or appearance make for a torturous class. When the teachers are carrying on about something, not yoga related, I just cant stand it. I’ve been taught that teacher is just a voice in the room, prolly why I teach from the back of the room. You don’t need to see me, you need to see yourself. This class has nothing to do with me…it has to do with each student. But when I’m the student… well its just so damn hard to turn off all the other voices.

I’ve stumbled up on a new teacher. Her enthusiasm is contagious. Her love of the yoga, quite obvious. Her desire to improve her teaching drives her. With some time teaching under her belt, that experience that can only happen in the room, will add to her already great style. This same experience can also jade us as teachers and I hope she has a way to go before that happens. There are regular teachers whose classes I enjoy and love. I know that I am the same way and sometimes it is just too much - all that talking and nonsense and chatter. I just want to take class and not be a teacher or a teacher that another teacher wants to “mark” by either over complimenting or over-correcting. I just want to do my yoga.

Today, I had her class. Her voice is sweet, yet has a power behind it. (I don’t think she realizes it yet) and she knows what she is doing. There is something there too, that makes me want to do better and try harder. Almost for an approval or acknowledgment. Not usual for me. I do what I do and that’s it. There was a point in class where we locked eyes. And I knew I had to keep going. No stopping now.

This is a voice for me. I can hear it crystal clear. She says things, that I “HEAR” it is general in some ways, but in others it is tailored for me. (this part of yoga, that is what connects me. Because I believe I am being spoken to directly. And that I must act upon it) Example, at one point she said something to the effect of “Let your work stay at work. This class is for you.” That can be applied by anyone and most certainly is aimed at everyone. But for me, it washed over me in a way that compelled me to let my work day go…to really be here just for me.

The entire class was riddled with these gems that kept my interest. It was a simple enough class. And that is the beauty of a gem, its beauty is right there – simple.

This is Hillary….with a voice…. a voice for me.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007



The power of peaceful persuasion is unsurpassed among skillful means. When your desired outcome is harmony, everything works for good. Reconciliation, understanding, and acceptance come easily, and the wisdom of William James' words become evident: "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." In a harmonious relationship, both of you are peacemakers.

---Ralph Blum's Little Book of Runic Wisdom

Sunday, October 14, 2007


Going Once, Going Twice.....

What great fun we had! The Annual Drag Auction was a super-fun success! So much talent that was showcased last night.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Feeling "A Part Of"

I had such a wonderful time this evening. I got to go on a run - well, more of a jog really, with a friend of mine. He wants to start being more "physically active." He even went out a bought a pair of running shoes. It's nice to go with someone. breaks up the monotony and It's SUPER-NICE to have someone to make comments to about all the hot boys out there. ay.ay.ay.

Came home a had a little chicken to hold me over to dinner- that was gonna be a late one tonight at 9:30pm. A newbie was celebrating 6 months of sobriety and he called and asked me to come to the meeting to see him pick up his chip and celebrate afterwards with dinner. It was so nice to be asked to show up for support. It was great to hangout afterward in that BIG AA kinda way of 14 people - all of them crazy, talking, driving the waiter insane. :)

Since I have been travelling, i have felt a little disconnected in general. I stay very conncted to my inner-circle BUT there is something to be said for connecting generally to everyone. I have been out-of-sorts with meetings, coffee, dinners and overall get-togethers.

It was great to hang out with the newbies and see them all smile. Life get good when we clean up. It's good to share that too. I am glad they shared it with me.

Monday, October 08, 2007



Minneapolis made quite the impression on me. This was the first time I had ever been. I like the city. It was clean and people were friendly. While at MinneSober I got this t-shirt. Not the best picture of me, but I wanted a picture for this post.

But the best impression was made by one guy in particular. He had big, make-your-heart-melt eyes, go-weak-in-the-knees lips and a SMOKIN HOT BOD! Totally my type. The images going thru my head right now. WHEW! I tend to me a T&A man myself. Nothing like great pecs and nice booty. And this guy had it all going on! Ay. Ay. Ay.

Geez! He is nice, sweet, and could converse – a lost art you know. I gave him my contact info. Hopefully he will be in touch. Not expecting anything. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up with a really hot friend, maybe I’ll end up with more. We’ll see what happens.

But for right now….
…..I (Heart) MPLS!

Sunday, October 07, 2007


Life Has Gotten Busy

I have been neglecting this blog. Mostly, due to LIFE. There was a while when it felt like I was living vicariously thru the blogs and lives of others. Although that was a little true - I was still living my life and posting about it. I forgot that this blog is about me for me....more of a journal really.

My life has been pretty busy. Travelling a little for work and for yoga stuff. I am still teaching. I really enjoy that. I cant imagine life with out yoga - without BIKRAM YOGA! And, Although I have been travelling, I have also been taking a lot of time off because of assignment scheduling. I am lucky to spend time at home being single house husband :)
(just practicing for whenIi find one)

So I am back. I will start to post some more. This posting stuff really is therapeutic for me. It clears my mind. It expresses my thoughts and frees my mind of all that debris, that clutter, that insanity!

WHY the sudden change you might ask? Well, I just got back from Minnealpolis where I attended MinneSober, a GLBT Recovery Conference. I got to connect a little With DAN but JIM was, sadly, out of town. I also got to meet the fabulous, the witty, the entertainer of all - WANDA WISDOM!
super cool! check her out.

Sunday, March 04, 2007



I love that my friend has moved back to Houston from DC. I LOVE IT! I helped this morning to move stuff from the moving truck into the storage unit. He is staying with a friend until he gets settled in. My landlord called last night at the garage apartment behind me is coming available on April 1st. Maybe he can take that. It is a nice 2 bedroom, one bath. And very affordable.

I love it when friends come back. I love it that we stay in touch. It’s like we were never apart. I am fortunate to have so many friends. Sometimes I think otherwise. I feel sorry for myself that no one is around. And the truth is, I have so many friends. Frankly, sometimes it is difficult to squeeze time in with all of them. That’s why I love going to dinner in big parties. We get to all sit around and laugh, and make jokes, and help each other out too. Sometimes, someone else has a good answer to a problem or question. And then the discussion begins. I love that shit!

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