Thursday, May 11, 2006
What Peace?
My PEACE is just plain gone. It’s been stolen from me. One thing I had not thought about before is that I COULD BE THE ONE STEALING MY OWN PEACE. Didn’t see that coming at all. My life seems to be so out of balance. I am constantly worrying about my weight and body size. (I’m the heaviest I have been – ever.) that may not be important to most, but it is creating unhappiness for me. So much that I cant enjoy a meal, a workout, yoga class, Especially yoga class. Ughh!
Not only that. It just seems like everythning gets on my nerves. Everything and everyone seems to annoy me, get under my skin and steal my peace. I get so frustrated with people lately. For all kinds of things. I just tend to keep my mouth closed and bite my tongue. I am well aware of the filthy mouth I have on me and how my words and tone can be razor sharp.
I am trying to stay in place of love so that I do not have to come back to anyone and make any amends. I hate making amends. I am often asking myself, “Is this a kind statement? Is it loving? Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said BY ME? Does it have to be said by me RIGHT NOW?” by the time I get to that last one, the answer is definitely NO! So I just go on about my business.
God, I want my peace back. God, Keep me out of my own way and grant me peace.
Not only that. It just seems like everythning gets on my nerves. Everything and everyone seems to annoy me, get under my skin and steal my peace. I get so frustrated with people lately. For all kinds of things. I just tend to keep my mouth closed and bite my tongue. I am well aware of the filthy mouth I have on me and how my words and tone can be razor sharp.
I am trying to stay in place of love so that I do not have to come back to anyone and make any amends. I hate making amends. I am often asking myself, “Is this a kind statement? Is it loving? Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said BY ME? Does it have to be said by me RIGHT NOW?” by the time I get to that last one, the answer is definitely NO! So I just go on about my business.
God, I want my peace back. God, Keep me out of my own way and grant me peace.
Comments:
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I could have said every one of those things. I probably did say every one of those things in the past week, except maybe the part about yoga, because mostly my stretching involves reaching really far if the remote control for the tv ends up somewhere else.
For sure, I do understand lack of balance. That's me. I should get a tatoo that says it.
For sure, I do understand lack of balance. That's me. I should get a tatoo that says it.
I don't know where you lost it, if it was stolen or not.... I've filed a report with the local authorities in hopes of recovery. Hmmm... recovery?
# posted by 
: 7:33 PM
: 7:33 PM
HONEY HONEY HONEY OMG....*breathe*.....
Sometimes you have to say those things in your mind. Nothing is better to your track than calling a spade a spade and helping someone else with a not so subtle lesson with a verbal bitch slap and single session therapy. Not that it's good all the time, but you're probably more mentally capable to make better judments about the 'right time and place' than I am. Your peace isn't stolen...it's being held hostage. Now chin up, tits up...it's show time.
kb
Sometimes you have to say those things in your mind. Nothing is better to your track than calling a spade a spade and helping someone else with a not so subtle lesson with a verbal bitch slap and single session therapy. Not that it's good all the time, but you're probably more mentally capable to make better judments about the 'right time and place' than I am. Your peace isn't stolen...it's being held hostage. Now chin up, tits up...it's show time.
kb
# posted by : 9:39 AM
: 9:39 AM
cisco :: sorry that you're going through some shit right now. know this -- people care.
# posted by : 7:49 AM
: 7:49 AM
It's oky ato feel shitty. Remember, though, it's a feeling and don't hold on--let it course through you, then let it go.
Yes, back to basics.
Yes, I love you.
Yes, many people do.
Yes, even when you feel like a slug, a bitch, a loser... 'cause you aren't any of those--you are Cisco, the beloved, precious child of God.
Yes, back to basics.
Yes, I love you.
Yes, many people do.
Yes, even when you feel like a slug, a bitch, a loser... 'cause you aren't any of those--you are Cisco, the beloved, precious child of God.
You are already well on the way, my friend. I can hear it in your writing. You're identifying the issues that are causing your unhappiness and are yearning to break free. You will do it!! You've battled so much and are strong enough to win this one. Don't doubt yourself.
BIG hugs...
BIG hugs...
hey! It's michael harren! I just stumbled upon your blog. I just added it to my list of subscriptions. I am leaving in a few weeks. aarrrgghhhh....so many people to see.
www.mikeypod.com
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# posted by : 7:34 PM
: 7:34 PM << Home
