Wednesday, October 05, 2005
To Be Helpful is our Only Aim.
Page 89. Working With Others
I met with a guy that I have sponsored now for a few years. It has been such wonderful experience. He used to be my old dealer. lol yeah, can you beleive it? It is amazing to see the people that come into these rooms if we stay around long enough. Anyway. I knew something was up. I tend to do the same thing sometimes....talk about everything BUT what is bothering me. Leave that for the very end of the meeting. So I asked what was up and for him to be honest with me. That's when he said that he thought maybe it was time to work with someone else. He was so nervous. Kind of scared also. I told him that I have been in his shoes and had this same conversation with some of my former sponsors. That is was all ok. I think that put him at ease.
I reminded him of the following. He had a relapse a while back. When he returned I made it clear that if he wanted to work with someone else, I completely understood. That I was only here to help and that if I was not providing what he needed, that I would help find the person that would or, at least be supportive. He said no. He wanted to keep working with me. That I had what he wanted. And so we went forward.
Coming to this point has been a priveledge and an honor. Working with him has truly kept me sober. I have grown as a person, as a friend, as sponsor and sponsoree- ultimately as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am amazed the way this works. I started off to help someone and in return was given EVERYTHING I needed, wanted and was even surprised with the results that I had no idea existed. He said that he was sad. I said yes, a little bit. Only because it is change. I will still be here and be part of your support group if he would have me. Told him there was the flip side.
The flip side: I told him I was excited for him. He asked why. I told him because I had been in this same place. A new sponsor would shake things up and keep him on his toes. There is a certain level of willingness that makes us work hard with new people. It is unkown. We dont know what to expect. Or what is expected of us. And yet we work to make it happen. There are exciting times on the horizon ahead. aking a turn on the path and satrting a new journey. A journey that woud be far beyond anything that we could imagine. I told him that we would still be walking side-by-side as we both had a common goal - to stay sober.
When I came home, I picked up my Big Book, and this is what I read:
I met with a guy that I have sponsored now for a few years. It has been such wonderful experience. He used to be my old dealer. lol yeah, can you beleive it? It is amazing to see the people that come into these rooms if we stay around long enough. Anyway. I knew something was up. I tend to do the same thing sometimes....talk about everything BUT what is bothering me. Leave that for the very end of the meeting. So I asked what was up and for him to be honest with me. That's when he said that he thought maybe it was time to work with someone else. He was so nervous. Kind of scared also. I told him that I have been in his shoes and had this same conversation with some of my former sponsors. That is was all ok. I think that put him at ease.
I reminded him of the following. He had a relapse a while back. When he returned I made it clear that if he wanted to work with someone else, I completely understood. That I was only here to help and that if I was not providing what he needed, that I would help find the person that would or, at least be supportive. He said no. He wanted to keep working with me. That I had what he wanted. And so we went forward.
Coming to this point has been a priveledge and an honor. Working with him has truly kept me sober. I have grown as a person, as a friend, as sponsor and sponsoree- ultimately as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am amazed the way this works. I started off to help someone and in return was given EVERYTHING I needed, wanted and was even surprised with the results that I had no idea existed. He said that he was sad. I said yes, a little bit. Only because it is change. I will still be here and be part of your support group if he would have me. Told him there was the flip side.
The flip side: I told him I was excited for him. He asked why. I told him because I had been in this same place. A new sponsor would shake things up and keep him on his toes. There is a certain level of willingness that makes us work hard with new people. It is unkown. We dont know what to expect. Or what is expected of us. And yet we work to make it happen. There are exciting times on the horizon ahead. aking a turn on the path and satrting a new journey. A journey that woud be far beyond anything that we could imagine. I told him that we would still be walking side-by-side as we both had a common goal - to stay sober.
When I came home, I picked up my Big Book, and this is what I read:
Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realized that the things that came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!
Thank you for everything.
Wishing you the very best on your journey.
Comments:
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AA gives us the new ability to have healthy relationships. You have shown your friend that things can change and not have to get crazy like the past. Good post, thanks.
This is one of the best post I have read on these things in a while.
I am glad to see your attitude. It is definately a result of working steps.
Sometimes, life takes us down other roads, but they all have the same destination.
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I am glad to see your attitude. It is definately a result of working steps.
Sometimes, life takes us down other roads, but they all have the same destination.
# posted by 
: 11:12 PM
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