Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Joy and Sorrow
I met a really wonderful guy earlier this year. It has been along time since I felt this way about someone. I was fearful yet enthusiastic. He taught me a lot about myself. I had somehow become jaded on LOVE. And he fanned the flames and inspired me to believe with a wide-eyed child's faith. His youthfulness and naivete was contagious. lol There is an age difference. I sometimes feel silly for thinking it would go anywhere at all, but I was hopeful. Things ended rather abruptly and I do not know why. I've called him a few times with no calls returned. I want desperately to talk to him....to know why. I am not angry nor am I bitter. I am sad. Some days the sadness is so heavy I can barely get out of bed....barely even speak. Today is one of those days. I think of all the joy he brought to my life. Of the warmth, the gentle kisses, holding hands, and even the way my heart would beat a little faster and the quickening of my breath. I remember his blue eyes and beautiful smile. I think of him fondly still...even in my sadness.
I am reminded of Khalil Gibran's writing in The Prophet:
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes you spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep on your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and silver, needs must your joy and your sorrow rise or fall.
My sadness is directly proportionate to the joy I was given and vice-versa. And with that, I am still and there is a quiet acceptance of this great truth.
I am reminded of Khalil Gibran's writing in The Prophet:
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes you spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep on your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and silver, needs must your joy and your sorrow rise or fall.
My sadness is directly proportionate to the joy I was given and vice-versa. And with that, I am still and there is a quiet acceptance of this great truth.
